"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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