How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

poo

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

Donald Trump

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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