A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Ol-ive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops