I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops