What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

Amanda Knox walks home free.

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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