What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops