What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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poo

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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SHUT UP JP

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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