- Anti Joke

Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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