Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

have safe sex

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

You having friends.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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