There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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good looking women

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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