What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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hi

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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