Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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stinky boner

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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