Caolan and Eamon

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Get up Look in the mirror

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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