What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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Women

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops