You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops