Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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ok

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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