What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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A man walks into a bar the bartender looks at the man and says "Hey son you wanna make one hundred bucks?" the man looks at the bartender and says "Im not your son."

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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