What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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What page are you on The gay page.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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j.p. is dumb

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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