What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

I have a really funny joke.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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