if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops