Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

What comes after Friday? A ?.

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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