If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops