We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops