why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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What did all of the blind children sing on the bus ride? Nothing because they drove off a cliff

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Let's play twenty questions. Alright, but I have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops