A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

your face is kinda funny

Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

whats white jizz

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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