What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Emily Walker.

Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

Women's Rights

A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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