Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

Ms Leong Sux

The duck didn't cross the road.

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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