Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

69

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Emily Walker.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops