Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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Where did jimmy go when the bomb exploded.... (Everywhere )

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Dislike if you are a prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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