Mooses

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops