Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Who wants water? I do.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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