Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

womens rights

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

all these jokes are horrible now

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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