Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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