What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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