- Anti Joke

What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

Why did Suzy cross the road? She didn't she got hit by a bus. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

What do you call two dog? dogs

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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