Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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