What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops