Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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I'm tired.

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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