My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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