What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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