What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

deez nuts

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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