Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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Tucker Rivera

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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Guest what in the butt

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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