Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops