Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so old, she might die soon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops