What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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