What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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Caramel Boing.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops