Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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you see theres this guy.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Canadians

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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