What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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knock knock who's there? faith

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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