"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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A young boy trips and severly cuts his knee while running down his neighborhood street. He is promptly brought to the hospital to avoid receiving any serious infection.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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