Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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