Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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A lot eh?

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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Pain Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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