What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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