What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops