What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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13 =B you just learned something

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops