A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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