Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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A American seeking into mexico

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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