I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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