"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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