Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Baby Seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

lets bomb africa

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops